The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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