the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
time to smoke my breakfast
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
