this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
