I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
