Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
