you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Bring me that man meat
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
