Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
