real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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