You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
