Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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