I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
