i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
