hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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