I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
