Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I have already put on my inside pants.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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