Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
