How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My vagina just recognized that song.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
