I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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