so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
