ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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