used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
