Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
