I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
