is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize