a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize