We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
