Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
