I hope mine doesn't look like that
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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