Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
