new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
