He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
