im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Porn is love you can see.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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