My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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