Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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