so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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