p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
