Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize