Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Someone shattered a urinal.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
