i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
