so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
