i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
