I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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