Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
