I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm really busy with my period
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