im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
