Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
