Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I smell stomach acid.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
