everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
