We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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