I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
