it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
