I want to make a zoo with you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
