Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
