I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
