My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
