Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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