Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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