your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
