I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
