I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
