I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize