They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
