THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
this will be a night to untag.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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