Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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